200 lbs..

"mataba ako..hinde ako maganda..kaya walang lalaking magmamahal saken.." (Chubby episode ni Marcelo Santos III)

I am a 25 years old jolly, friendly, single and a 200 lbs lady. Nang mapanood ko ang video at nabasa ko ang line na yan! napaisip ako kung tama ba ung nararamdaman niya? tama bang magself pity? tama bang ilagay ni Marcelo Santos III yang line na yan?!

There are times na nasasabi ko yan sa sarili ko. Sometimes, nafifeel kong lagi nlng ako naleleft out. Lagi nalang sila ang napapansin ako, napapansin din pero dahil un sa kalakihan ko. Don't get me wrong I super love myself! Pero pag dating sa usapang puso eh medyo doubtful nako. I hate to say this but sometimes I say this to myself din, mahirap maghanap ng lalaking magmamahal saken dahil mataba ako. I know its wrong and people will not understand me, pero di nila kasi naeexperience kung anong naeexperience ko. Di nila nararamdaman kung ano ang nararamdaman ko every time I go to a party and lahat ng kasama mo napapansin, ikaw, you'll just be "the friend". Its hard to compete with sexy and beautiful people you know! People kasi, most especially in this country, has a stereo type of who is beautiful and who is not. As long as you are thin and white you are beautiful and if you are chubby and dark you are not so stunning.

Being a 38in. waist-ed lady is not a joke. You have to be matatag dahil sa mga pangloloko nilang baboy ka, oink oink, balyena, whale, dugong, lahat na ng malapad. You have to always be strong not only emotionally but also physically kasi feeling nila pag mataba ka malakas ka! You can do anything they ask you to do. You must also be articulate and observant if kaya ka ng aapakan mo or sasakyan mo or kasya ka sa papasukan mo. You must learn how to make people laugh kasi you have to be a joker to stand out. You must be creative to know how to dress well and how to hide your flabs. You must be ready to be taken for granted, 'coz you will always just be a friend who always there for them to cry on. And most importantly you must learn how to mask your feelings, you must learn to hide if you are hurting or sad, coz you must hide it when you're in love.

Yes, its a choice to be a heavy weight. You have a free will to choose if you will eat right or not. But these people has feelings to! They are also longing for someone to accept them for who they are.

Personally, I am one of those hopeless romantic ones that was longing for someone to love me for who I am. I am longing for someone that can make me happy and be with me for the rest of my life. I want someone whom I can share my stories to. Someone that will be there when I am sad nor happy. I also want to have a beautiful love story that I can share to my apos. I want to have a Atom Aurallo and be Patty Laurel hehe. I am now on the journey of losing some pounds for the reason to be love by the one I am falling in love with. I want to loose those fats for myself and just be motivated by it but at the back of my mind I am just doing it to be loved.

I am longing and wanting to have someone that will love me whether I weighed 100lbs or 200lbs.